Five months ago I had no idea how truly evil toxic humans and narcissists are, they are on a level of psychopaths and murderers. I used to think they were just unusually thick, stupid, nasty men and women instead they are really incredibly dangerous and can drive their victims to DESPAIR.

Professionals in the NPD field say don't engage, what does that actually achieve in the long run?

Sweet FA, ENGAGE the F out of them as a family, tell them you KNOW exactly what they are and what they are doing to your mother, sister, father, brother whoever. They will back down, probably run off and cry, let them. Keep the pressure on them, they will probably tell you they will leave you, divorce etc. They won't they are too old, ugly and weak now to find new victims, call their bluff.

Anyone who has one in their family and is not the victim has a duty to stop them hurting your loved ones before it becomes to late.